By Vanquished Vanquisher
“Shot through the heart
And you’re to blame
Darling, you give love a bad name…”
Many have gasped in shock, wonder and understandable fury on why women stomach violent relationships. We have seen a video trending, of a woman being beaten to a pulp by her husband. But she will not press charges. She will crawl back to the same man. The same demon incarnate. To be beaten even more. This time, probably to death. We have seen this recurrence.
Music still playing ……
“An angel’s smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion’s a prison, you can’t break free.”
The root cause of this behavior of women to remain shackled to their violent spouses can be traced to psychology. When somebody is repeatedly beaten with intermix of affections, there develops what we call traumatic bonding. This is described as a “a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence”
The abused woman becomes grateful when she is not being battered. She develops a feeling that the beatings are as results of her fault. If she does more, the beatings may stop. She takes beatings as form of life. She loves the one who beats her. She is grateful when she is spared the beatings. She defends her abuser. Its a psychological disorder. Anybody can suffer from it.
More music playing….
“Oh, oh, you’re a loaded gun
Oh, oh, there’s nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done”
Such a woman is handicapped. She is in chains. She finds it hard to free from the man. Its a slavery. Doses of pain increase love.
Women from abusive families tend to fall more into traumatic bonding than those from peaceable families. But anybody can fall into it. As lyrics from our music went, ‘when passion is a prison, you cant break free.’ Traumatic bonding is related to Stockholm syndrome where captives develop affection and fall for captors.
Its true people change. One may marry someone who did not exhibit violent tendencies. Only for them to turn into beasts. The solution would, a batterer should never be given a second chance.Never.
When you see a woman holed in brutal marriage, let your eyes not pop in horror. Let your self righteous not make you think she is a coward. Never imagine she is out-rightly stupid. No. She is suffering from psychologically sick.She needs helps. She needs treatment.
But we have an advice to such women. When push comes to shove, here is the legal solution. Just kill the bastard. Kill that goddamned bastard. Then when put on trial for manslaughter or murder, just plead the defense of battered wife syndrome. It has been upheld elsewhere. It will be upheld here.
“I play my part
And you play your game
You give love a bad name”